Man in the Mirror
Man in the Mirror
Summary: Epi and Castor talk expectations and love.
Date: PHD096 (7/24/09)
Related Logs: None

[ Library - Deck 3 ]--------[ CEC Kharon ]

IC Time: Post Holocaust Day #96 OOC Time: Fri Jul 24 03:13:22 2009

A small desk to the aft is the first sight that greets an entrant as they step into the library. Kharon's library is respectable by the standards of most of the Colonial Fleet. The stacks and shelves run the entire length of the room. The access rows between the stacks are a close fit for a man of average build, and would be a squeeze for broader individuals. Every inch of the shelving is used. The circulating collection spans centuries, and ancient texts are compiled alongside contemporary Colonial selections. In addition to printed text, there is an expansive collection of digital disc movies. Viewing screens are available at intervals throughout the library. Magazines and periodicals are located in a smaller shelving unit, several of them issued just a month or two before Day 0.

-=[ Condition Level: 3 - All Clear ]=---------


Epi Castor


[H] Hallway

Leda is sitting quietly in the Library, why, because this is a place of silence and reflection. He is amazingly reading a book about psychology - Symbols and Man by Young. He has been reading this book a lot recently, maybe it is a search for self or maybe he is just bored either way it is hard to tell.

And into the library comes, well, a rather unlikely face. It's a Marine. Not just any Marine, but the demolitions expert. The look she gives the books is priceless. It's a cross between utter fascination and 'ew, yuck.'

Castor looks up at Epi and offers a, "Corporal." He takes a moment to study his book before he notices the look on her face, "Not much of a reader are you?" He asks curiously as he offers, "My brother taught me to read mostly from trashy romance novels. I read all of the Joan Wilder books." He then takes a moment to look around the library as he hides the book he is reading, wait, was there a book there, couldn't be because it is gone now.

<FS3> Epi rolls Alertness *CASUAL*: Success.

Epi glances around and spots Castor, offering him a slightly baffled smile. "I feel like the Caprican in a Gemenese temple," she murmurs. "No, not much of a reader. I'm a hands-on girl, honestly. But I came in to look up some chemistry texts, to see if I have my formulations right. How're you, Sir?"

<FS3> Castor rolls Sleight Of Hand: Failure.

Castor chuckles, "I know the feeling." He says, "I'm not a huge reader but I do occasionally make my way into the library to read." He waits a beat, "Mostly when it is late and I think no one is going to be here." It would seem he isn't proud about reading books. He takes a second to straighten himself in an effort to shift his weight and *THUMP* Symbols and Man by Young falls to the ground. This causes Castor to wince slightly, frak, okay just be cool and play it off like nothing happened. "I'm doing well, Corporal. I mean I haven't been shot at in a while and no time in medical so I would say things are peachy."

Her eyes follow the book with the same interest one generally shows in the silkies falling out of a politician's pocket. She looks up at Castor with a brow arched delicately, slightly baffledly. "I think you dropped your doorstop," she points out ever so helpfully. "Hit any good bags lately, Sir?"

Eyes fall to the book and finally he reaches down and picks up the book as he places it on the table. "Thank you." He says to Epi as he looks back to answer the second question, "Yeah, I've been putting lots of time in the gym. I have to train for the dance and hopefully your friends in the Marines won't make us look to bad." He chuckles, "Who am I kidding, the Marines are going to pound us into the floor."

Epi considers him for a moment, then makes herself at home. On top of his table. Facing him. Her legs are folded neatly, Indian style. Her overall demeanor makes her seem more like a housecat than a Marine. She even manages to land without knocking anything over. "Most likely, yes," she tells him with a cheerful smile. "You're a pilot. Pilots are all well and good - in the air. On the ground? Well, y'all have a tiny bit of a hard time hitting your target. But that's ok. We go easy on you guys." She gives the man a solemn little nod.

Castor watches this athletic feat and he chuckles, after all it isn't everyday that one sees a housecat such as Epi jump up on a table. He finally takes a moment to add, "Well, I'm glad to know you are taking it easy on us then because our faces are always recovering after the dance." He rubs his jaw a bit as if to remember his last outting with Dutch. If he was full of air-wing hot air it would seem he isn't sharing since he doesn't attempt to defend the wing or maybe he doesn't believe in marines being better than the wing. "You planning on throwing down with anyone when the next dance happens?"

"Probably not," she says, propping her chin up on her hand and giving him a thoughtful look. "I'm ok with hand to hand, but they won't let me blow anyone up. So that kind of takes the fun out of it." Yes, the woman actually looks someone saddened by that fact. "I fuss about pilots now and then, but it's mostly hot air, I think," Epi explains after a minute. "Sometimes, when pilots run their mouths, I get pissed off and start pilot bashing. But y'all are a pretty good lot. I've met some nice people. Met some big blow-hards, too. You'd probably say the same about the Marines, right?"

Leda winces slightly as his mouth is the thing that gets him in trouble, usually not out of pride for the wing but rather because of something else he has said. He gives Epi a kind almost apologetic look as he says, "Yeah, we tend to think we are rockstars sometimes and we forget who we are." He then winks, "But, I'm not the one who can make things explode in spectacular ways." He thinks about the dance as he says, "I suppose I can see why you would think the dance is boring that way but mostly, I like it, after all it keeps pilots humble and it lets us get our agression out before we all snap and start hitting each other."

"Mmmmm," she comments quietly, nodding. "We usually call that 'PT,'" she tells the pilot with a grin. "But I can see where others would want something a little more formal. Friendly rivalry is all well and good, but I honestly don't go in TOO much for the us versus them. I did, don't get me wrong." Her head tilts a little, leaving her looking like a little bird. "I considered filling your pool balls with explosives, but the gunny won't let me."

Leda grins, "That's because the exploding pool balls are a bit obvious and a marine might play which would lead to this backfiring on you." He shakes his head as he thinks about practical jokes, "Now, if you set it so that an small bang went off while most of the pilots were sleeping that could be effective but you'd have to sneak it in which would be difficult." He then adds, "You'd probably piss Papabear off with that one." For his own part Castor looks a bit like a dog in the way he moves, the puppydog part of him is gone, but that loyal, kind, and sometimes confused look is on his face as he looks up at Epi. "PT, huh?" he grins as he considers pilot PT, spin people around, shoot at a target while dizzy, and checking for resistance to pulling g's oh and a lot of running.

Epi shifts her position, tucking her legs to one side of her. Wood probably doesn't make a comfortable seat, but she's not complaining a whit. "Mmmm. You know, that's definitely an idea," the little woman comments musingly. "And it wouldn't be as hard as you might think. It could go in the laundry, it could go in a delivery. Hell, it could even be rolled in when someone opened the door." Is she giving secrets away? Likely not. She seems like the type to have more tucked away somewhere. Yep, she's like a teenaged housecat up there on the table, caught between kittenhood and full grown. Restless. Barely restrained energy, as if she were about to go out on the prowl somewhere, anywhere, to find toes to pounce, or maybe a stray shoelace.

Castor studies Epi for a moment, "Are you sure you wouldn't rather sit down that looks a little uncomfortable." He doesn't add in the fact that he likes the position she is in but he also doesn't want to see her with a stiff hip. "I like the way you think…" a beat, "very devious." He then considers, "Then again you could also hit the pilot head, rig an explosive in there, nothing to cause damage but throw water around." His mind keeps going, "Or the lockers, find an unused locker and set it up to make a loud bang." He then leans in a bit closer as he says, "And if you end up doing this all I ask is for a small warning to get out of the way." He then leans back as he chuckles thinking about all of the ways you could freak the pilots out. "Or, if you really wanted to be clever get embtween the plates and cause an explosion from the ceiling, no one would see it coming, you could even rig it with a timer, just enough to rattle the bunks."

Poor Epi mulls that. Castor can SEE the wheels turning. Hell, the smell of burning rubber is almost audible. "Smoke," she murmurs, quietly. "All it would take is one canister. The bunks would clear out and give me…" Her eyes raise to the ceiling as she calculates. And yes, fingers come up and flick up one at a time as she counts. "Sixteen point eight seconds, depending on if the Gunny's the one on duty," she murmurs. "Mmmmm. Sticking point there. Of course, if I went in from above…" She's small enough to do it, too. "Ah, well. I'd best not tell you my plans. Plausible deniability and all that."

It would seem that Leda's mind looks at things from multiple angles as he opens his mouth to offer a few more possibilities and instead he says, "Ah, yes, plausible deniability." The grin on his face is a wide cheshire cat like grin as he considers other sneaky things to do, itching powder on toliet paper being his favorite, while it isn't explosive it is effective. He then asks, "So how have you been I mean since we put boots on the ground things have been quiet for everyone right?"

Epi sighs quietly. "It's always the PILOTS who get shot, too," she tells him finally, laughing softly. "Everything's been quiet. Gunny's been running me ragged, which is good. Doesn't give me much time to get into trouble. How about you?"

Leda looks at his book for a moment and then back to Epi, "Me, I've been losing hands of triad and having a few drinks." He doesn't mention the other things that have been going on like the classified information that he accidentally learned, the fact that he freaked out Jacobs after the triad game, and the weirdness he saw between certain pilots, "It's been quiet for me. A little to quiet for me." He says with a bit of a frown, "And yeah, it is always the pilots that get shot." A beat, "And Seargent Elder." He leans in placing his hands on the table as if to rest on it and maybe to try to get more comfortable in the library.

Her legs swing around to the other side, though she's careful not to hit him on the way around. "He does seem to attract bullets," she comments, though without her usual joie d'vive. "What have you gotten into besides drinking and gambling? I didn't go to the game. I had a few things to take care of." All the stuff she doesn't know to ask about.

Leda takes a moment to think about it all and he offers up what he can, "Well, lets see Rebound and Tanner have gotten together, she even called him Pookie and Love Muffin." This causes Leda to give off a soft laugh as he adds, "Love Muffin." He then says, "I had a weird conversation with Corporal Jacobs and to the best I can tell is that he was three kinds of pissed off at something some private had done." He rubs his head as the classified stuff stays classified, probably because he doesn't want people freaking out or possible because he isn't one to leak information. "Oh, I had a talk with my ex and she and I are on the level which is nice since I heard rumors that she was planning to do something evil to me." He finally adds, "And I know for a fact that Captain Legacy asked Captain Marek to talk dirty to her in a game of truth or dare. I had to haul ass to get out of the room, I don't want to even think about Papabear sexing up anyone, he is, you know…" he pauses as he says it almost like a fanboy, "sacred." He then chuckles, "Oh and Major Pike asked me to moon everyone at the card game." And that is all of the rambling news that is fit to tell.

Of course Epi absorbs all of this information like a dark-haired little sponge. "Ooh, that sounds like a lot of good, juicy gos…" Pause. It takes a minute for his last words to sink in and then she just grins, broadly. "To MOON the room? Major PIKE did," she asks, clearly intrigued. "Well, that sounds like a hell of a dare. I'm almost sorry to have missed that party." Then her brow furrows a little and she cocks her head to the side. "Papabear? Captain Marek? Are you -kidding-? That man's like the last bottle of absinthe." The smile softens a little. "I'm glad about your ex. I really didn't want to have to set charges in her tampons."

Leda's expression softens considerably as Epi mentions exploding tampons it would seem that Epi now has his attention as he coments on what was just said, "It was a wild party." He grins, "And yeah, the major dared me to moon the room." He leans in, "And I'm sad to say Marek saw me bare ass." He shakes his head because it wasn't his proudest moment. "Yeah, I call Captain Marek Papabear since he looks out for all of the pilots. Truth be told I'd never want to do anything that would piss the Captain off not because I'm afraid of him but because I wouldn't want to let him down." He then adds in a beaming warm smile, "And thanks for getting my back in regards to Ensign Nevice."

Epi cocks her head to study him for a moment, then offers a small, not quite shy smile. It's not a flirtatious one - she doesn't seem the type to flirt. It's more friendly than anything else. "She's a moron," Epi says simply. "You're better off without her. Any woman who'd hurt you probably needs airlocked as being too stupid to contribute to the gene pool."

Castor chuckles, "Well, I won't say bad things about her but she is a bit of a kid." He shakes his head as he adds, "And, I'm not sure what I saw in her." He shrugs, "But that is in my past and now I'm trying to focus on the future." He then says, "I wish her the best but I don't know if I'm going to date another pilot ever again." He then adds as an aside, "Pilots are to frakking crazy." Was that self-depricating humor or truth, either way it was said and it resonated with a sense of truth.

She laughs softly and nods. "See, that's what we Marines have been saying for years," she jokes quietly, but then turns a bit more serious. "I'm dating a Marine and it's…odd, honestly. I grew up with Marines. So it's almost like dating a cousin, in some respects. Marines are family. At least, the Marines I grew up with." She shifts back to a lotus position, propping her chin on both hands. "I'm not sure how I feel about the whole dating thing, just in general."

Leda nods, "I know how you feel, right about now I don't much feel like dating anyone." He shakes his head, "I mean we need to get ourselves together before we even think about having kids." He says with a lie, he wants kids but that will have to wait a while. "So, what is your take on the whole dating situation?" He asks, "I mean all of the Marines I have met are pretty hardcore and very direct and I admire that."

Her shoulders slump a little as she considers that. "I don't know, honestly," she admits. "It's nice to have someone to curl up with. But the togetherness is a little much. I mean, you can't exactly transfer off if you screw the relationship up. You can't really get away from the other person if things go south. You're sharing bunk space with a few dozen of your closest friends."

"Yeah, trust me, the screwing up part is no good." He says with a chuckle, "After all I have to live the rest of my life with my ex and there is no getting away from it." he then takes a moment to rub his jaw, "And yeah, It is nice to have someone to curl up with but at the end of the day we just have to go where we are lead." Wait, did Leda just say something possibly spiritual, yeah, he did.

Epi smiles a little at that then lifts her shoulder. "Where we're led, or where we decide to go," she says after a bit. "The Gunny and I…it's odd, honestly. He's about twice my age, but things are comfortable. I care for him. It'd hurt if he were injuried. It would hurt a lot. But what is love? How do we know love? What does it -mean-?"

Leda considers all of this and he finally says, "Well…" He looks down at his book and he takes a breath, "I feel that love is a gift from something greater than ourselves. I mean I don't believe in the Lords but I believe there is something bigger and whatever it is gives us love as a gift and maybe love is the greatest gift." He rubs his hand subconciously over his heart for a moment as he adds, "Even more importantly whatever it is that is larger than us gives us love so that we can experience what ever it is that this thing that is bigger than ourselves feels for us." This might be a suprising statement since Leda never talks about his spiritual beliefs. "And yeah, I think we are led by something bigger than us, call it, destiny I guess."

At least she's mature enough to listen to him, really attend to his words. And then she nods slowly. "Maybe," Epi allows after a moment. "I don't know. It just doesn't really resonate with me. Love is my family. Love is the people who raised me. Love is…for other people. I know the Gunny loves me, I can see it in his eyes. I just don't know what it is."

"Well, maybe you will be gifted with love." A light goes off in his head as he listens to Epi and so he adds, "And there are different types of love you know I mean love for family like you mentioned. Some people love their jobs and others love the the things they own." He then takes his hands off of the table so he can rub the back of his neck, "But all love is an experience of something divine."

The housecat curls herself up a bit as she listens and mulls. She doesn't just speak with her voice, but with her whole body. Every emotion is telegraphed in in the way she moves. The unease of her shoulders, the want in the tilt of her head, the protectiveness in the way she's curled. "Perhaps," she allows again, quietly. "But I don't know that I'll ever love pilots," she comments, flashing him a trademark grin.

Leda is a bit keener on the social skills than others, especially the pilots, and he clearly can read her moves just as if she were speaking. His moves are confident as he places his hands back on the table, he posture is open and comfortable, which is to say he is showing his vulnerable side as well. He then winks, "And as for pilots, I don't think I will fall in love with another pilot either."

Epi laughs softly at that, shaking her head. "You're better off trading up," she assures him with a solemn look. "I mean come on, a PILOT? You have better taste, despite the fact you ARE one. Find yourself a nice girl in CIC to curl up with. I've heard CIC women are fun and relaxed."

Castor laughs, "You mean the bridge bunnies?" His laugh dies down to a chuckle and then to a guffaw, "Well, I will trade up I always trade up." He says with a sly smile, the kind that only someone who has been living on the streets can give. "Well, there is the Tactical and Medical and I think that covers all of my options."

"Oh, don't forget deck and engineering," Epi says, giving him one of those wide-eyed looks. "I mean, you're a pilot, so you can never HOPE to trade up to Marines, but it's a nice dream to have." She grins at him after a moment, one of those camraderie smiles.

Leda looks at Epi, "I don't think I could handle a marine." He says with another wink and it would seem he is being honest, "They are stronger than pilots." He then takes a moment to consider deck and engineering, "Oh yeah, right." He then rubs his chin in thought as he finally says, "Well, for right now I will wait and see, I'm not actively looking but I will go where I am led. I mean the whole thing with Nevice was a lot of drama that I could do without."

Epi's smile warms and softens as she watches him. "Sometimes the best things in life for us are the things that hurt the most," she offers after a moment. "Those things that make us stronger, teach us things about ourselves that we never would have otherwise known. Yes, the thing with Nevice was drama, but it's made you a stronger man, a better man. It taught you what you want - or, alternately, what you don't want." One hand reaches up to brush the hair behind her ear. "Don't be afraid to take that chance again, but just…look before you leap."

Leda smiles, "Keep talking like that Corporal and you'll get promoted before you know it." He then teases by saying, "Or even worse they'll bump you up into command." He then takes a second to add, "And truth be told the whole thing with Nevice has left me wondering who I really am?" He says pointing to the book, "It is a long story but the short version is I was living into the person that my brother was and not who I am. So, I'm doing a bit of soul searching which is maybe the biggest gift that came from all of the craziness."

Epi glances to the book for a moment, then nods slowly. "I've wondered about that myself, to be honest with you," she offers after a bit, eyes on the tome, rather than him. "I've wondered about the person I am, if I'm a good person. I've wondered about my mistakes." Finally she pulls her eyes to his. "I let someone kiss me. In fact, I kissed him back. Twice. This was before he knew I was with the gunny. The first time was a surprise. The second time…" Her throat works for a moment. "It was because I wanted it. I won't lie. Gunny and I have talked about it, but the other man…hasn't spoken to me since."

"Well, then this other man was looking for a bit of action and not for love." He frowns, "I'm sorry to hear that." He then remembers Nevice sleeping with Steele who never talked back to her again and he says, "It seems to be a reoccuring theme on this ship." He shrugs, "If it will make you feel better I can look for ways to bust this evil nogoodnik up." He then thinks about mistakes, Leda is good at making those and he offers, "Yeah, but our mistakes teach us a lot more than our successes do. I mean it isn't about failure it is about learning how not to do something until we learn how to do it right."

"No, I think he was looking for love," Epi says, shaking her head slightly. "And I hurt him. Which I regret, a lot. But it's not something I can fix." Her lips quirk a little at the corner, humorlessly.

Castor may not be a puppydog anymore but he still has that damnable sense of hope, "Hey, things have a way of working out. I mean, is this guy moping about it or did he move on with his life?" He pauses, "And you know what, even if this guy in moping about it things will work out after all time heals all wounds." He then smiles, "And so I wouldn't sweat the guy you hurt."

She gives him a bit of a grateful smile. "I was wrong," she says quietly. "I guess I got a little scared about being with Gunny, and…the newness of having someone interested in me, I guess. I worry about him, though. He's a good man with a good heart. I'm attracted to him, which is why I've kept my distance. It's not fair to anyone." She pauses, then heaves a sigh. "Of course, he gave my favorite bra to Swift, damnit." Her head ducks. "It's a long story, trust me. But on the plus side, Lieutenant Black is going to help me get it back." That perks her up considerably.

Leda's eyebrows raise at the theft of a bra and he remembers procuring underwear for Captain Legacy, that took only just about forever, oh right, back to the present, "Well, I would say if you love him and it really is a deep down sort of thing then by all means keep him close and hold on to him." He then adds, "If anyone can get you that bra it will be Black." He then says, "I'd help but I'm afraid that some guy stealing a bra back would just look weird all around the ship."

Epi laughs, and it's a quietly carefree laugh. The laugh of a woman who hasn't, like everyone else, lost everything. Probably a glimpse of who she was before the bombs fell. Yeah, she's got the reputation as a housecat that hisses and swipes and is, perhaps, a little to the left of sane. But in this moment, she looks young, full of life. "I like her. She's good people - for a pilot." There's that impish grin. "You and Black are why I'm revising my stance on pilots. And this Papabear of yours, well, he's enough to make a girl forget she's got a man. He's the type of man that makes a girl wish for dark corners and a few hours, you know?" She winks at that.

Leda enjoys the laugh, then again, he enjoys smoothing things over and making sure people are relaxed and so in this moment he is pleased. "Jupiter is a strong woman and probably the best brawler in the air wing." He then waits a beat, "Which is why I fear and respect her." He then grins, "And yeah, the Ladies like Papabear but I mean he is Papabear and so everyone loves him and you aren't the first woman I've heard that would leave their guy for him." He then leads in again, "But seriously I'm glad I missed the dirty talk."

A brow quirks and she grins at him, intrigued now. "And why's that," she asks, head canting to the side. "I figured all pilots would be interested in a little dirty talk. I mean, come on, you mooned everyone. Why would a little dirty talk bother you?"

Castor shakes his head, "I respect the Captain and there is nothing wrong with dirty talk but I mean you don't want to see your heroes running around doing certain things." He offers warmly, as his style of speech regarding the Captain is almost reverent as if the man is somehow sacred to Leda. "And because it would be like catching your Dad and your Mom in the middle of doing it." He shakes his head, "So, I had to get out of the room for a minute."

Epi bites her lower lip, trying not to laugh. She's really, really trying hard not to laugh. "What, you've never caught him in berthings with…company? I mean, the quarters are hella small, if they're like the Marine bunks. He IS just a man after all. Was he coerced? Did he seem upset by it?"

Castor shakes his head and lets out a louder than it should be, "Aww, hell no." He then quiets down, "I mean, I've never seen him with anyone else ever. His bunk is always quiet." He shakes his head, "I think he is married or was married since he has this ring he looks at sometimes." He then adds, "And he didn't seem upset, the only thing that I think pisses Papabear off is when pilots screw up." He smiles, "And he wasn't coerced just dared. He lived up to the challenege because that is who he is."

She grins at him and dips her head. "And that, my dear," she says, leaning forward slightly. "Is why the women eye him like he's the last hot fudge sundae left in the…" Huh. A thought smacks her upside the head and her little brows pull together, eyes going distant, head canting to the side. Ever see a blonde chase a thought? That blonde has nothing on Epi.

"Well, I'll keep that in mind as I try to build my reputation up." He then watches Epi, "Everything alright there I mean you look like someone who just realized they forgot to pay their power bill before everything turned out like it did?"

She shakes her head rather like a cat who just accidentaly rolled off the top of the cat tower and landed on the floor. "I was going to say he's like the last hot fudge sundae left in the world," Epi remarks, looking back at Castor with a wry smile. "But, well, he kinda IS."

Castor grins, "Yeah, and that is why Papabear is as the kids say, straight out oldschool." He shrugs, "Or maybe not I don't know what the kids say these days." He then looks back at the book for a moment, "So, part of this book that I'm reading is all about symbols and how symbols help define our lives and guide us, tell us who we are." He then smiles, "And maybe Papabear is our symbol, you know, someone to put our hope in."

Epi bites her lips again for a moment, both of them this time. "But…is that fair to him," she asks quietly, not trying to hide a smile because there's none there. "To put all your expectations in him, to hang your hopes on him? He IS just a man, right? Doesn't it make it harder on him to succeed? The risks associated with failure for him have to be astronomical."

Castor considers this and he says, "Well, I've never told him what I think, can you imagine what a huge suck up I'd look like?" He shakes his head, "In fact you're the only person I've ever told about this." He adds, "And yeah, he is a man and he is just a man but I mean…he is the only pilot who has his crap together unlike the rest of us who are either insane or well a little off." He then says, "Please don't share this with Papabear, I don't want him to know."

A shoulder lifts delicately. "I'm a Corporal," she reminds Castor with a little smile. "He's a Captain. He notices me only when I fall over myself to salute him. This isn't exactly a conversation I'd be having with him, y'know?" Her smile softens a little and she shakes her head. "But you don't have to tell him. If he's as smart as everyone says, he can already feel it, from everyone."

Castor winces, "Well frak." He then says as he hopes he didn't telephone in his hero worship. He then says, "Maybe he notices you, after all smart money is always paying attention to someone who can blow thigns up." He chuckles, "So, he might be paying close attention." He says supportively, "Anyway, I'll lay off the hero thing." He says a bit disappointed probably in himself.

Epi hesitates a moment, then offers quietly, "How about turning some of that hero worship inward, Sir?" The little woman straightens, posture military straight, but it seems comfortable. "You're a pretty damned good man yourself. You're intelligent, you made it through pilot training, you've flown dozens, if not hundreds, of successful missions - so you're obviously talented. You came through what was clearly a bad breakup with grace and a smile. Where other men would have been bastards, you've defended her a little. You're a gentleman. You had a shitty childhood, and now look at you." One hand gestures outward, fingers fluttering a little. "You're a kind man with a good heart and more to offer than quite a few people I've met in my life. Maybe you don't need to adore him. Maybe you should give yourself some of that."

Castor now takes all of this in turn and he is cheered on by someone else. He then turns and smiles and offers warmly, "Thank you." He says as his body become a bit more relaxed, Leda's own worst enemy is himself. "I'll work on that, it is why I'm trying to figure out who I am." He then says, "Which is why I am reading this book. The Captain told me I have to stop living for my brother and I need to start living for myself." He puts his fingers through his short hair, "So, you just helped me out a lot." He then leans in, "In fact if you need help getting that bra back let me know and I will see what I can do to help."

Epi smiles softly and shakes her head. "I think you know who you are," she confides quietly. "Deep down, the answers are there. But sometimes it's hard to let them out, to take that chance, to open yourself to getting hurt. You might not like some of the answers you find, but they're -your- answers, no one else's. And Sir? You deserve nothing but the best. You're not a coward. You fly a Viper for gods' sake. You're your own man. The mirror's a good place to meet him, I think." She starts to slide off the side of the table, moving with an easy, fluid grace. Epi's quiet for a moment, studying him with those dark eyes and, perhaps, a bit of hero worship of her own. "For what it's worth? I'm pretty sure your brother would be proud as hell of the man you've become. Captain Marek may be deserving of the hope and accolades - but so are you." With a little smile and a dip of her head, she turns to slip off - sans her books.

Leda simply watches for a moment as Epi leaves and he looks a bit confused, dumbfounded, and pleasently suprised. He then puts the book he was reading away because he probably won't need it anymore. Yup, time for this dog to learn a few new tricks, like, taking a chance. He then heads out of the library as well.

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