Laundry Foes
Laundry Foes
Summary: Barney and Jupiter have their own little conversation in the laundry room. They don't talk like other folks do.
Date: PHD133
Related Logs: Trash

Clatter clunk swish swirl, clatter clunk swish swirl. All of the whirring and sloshing machines are banding together to create a cacophonic orchestra. The conductor today? Well, it sure as hell isn't Barney. He's just looking for some extra towels. He's also humming a soft melody along with the machines, which… isn't really that helpful when you're supposed to be looking for towels.

The laundry is fairly empty this time of day, it's a little too early for most folks to bother with their dirties. Everybody likes doing it before or after dinner, for some reason. There are dead times. These are the times in which Jupiter likes to come throw her crap into a spin cycle. Less crowding, less chance of losing any of her pretty things to sneaky hands.

She has an extensive collection of brightly colored thongs. Do not judge. Ok, Judge, but stay hands off. The pilot's clothes spin through the cycles, some in washers, some in dryers. She came aboard with a lot of crap. It barely fits in her locker and storage space. The fairer Black is nowhere to be seen. She put her shit in here earlier. So maybe it's a surprise when the hatch opens, and she steps in. It's certainly a surprise to her to find Barnabas has slipped in while she was gone.

"Mmm mmmm mm MMMM, mm mmmm mmm mmm mmmm." Barney's not much of a conversationalist when he's humming and shoving his head under one of the folding tables. You'd think something bright white in a room full of grey would be a little easier to find, but he's obviously having problems. Well, he's having MORE problems now that Jupe has just entered, but let's work one thing at a time here. His head comes up above the edge of the table, and his eyes narrow. Just a little. "Jupiter."

Oh, look. A marine. Oh, look. A pilot. Oh, look, a pilot and a marine. Jupiter barely says a word, just stalks straight for the marine. She's certainly fiesty today. You can see it in her eyes, and the set of her shoulders. "Volker. Front and center." She looks pissed. Wonder why that is. "Now." Oh, pulling the commandy card.

Barney doesn't rise to the bait. What bait? The bait of her pulling the rank card to get a response out of him other than "Sir." and moving to stand in front of her, back fully straightened. Look at him. The model toy solider of standing at attention. The downside to his being off duty. You're rank-meat. At least in a small act of defiance he calls her Sir. 'Lieutenant, Junior Grade' is a mouthful when your chest is pushed out that much.

To say that Jupiter Black abuses her power sometimes, particularly when she's angry, would be an understatement. Sometimes, just sometimes, her self control slips. This is one of those times. "Where in the frak do you get off, you yellow bellied, half a face sack of crap." She steps right up in his grille. She can smell what he had for breakfast this close, no matter how many times he flossed.

"In my bunk or in the head, like most of the un-romantically involved members of this crew, Sir." Ok, so he's staring her right in the eyes. Barney's making a purposeful no-no. And it's worth it. It's so worth it. He doesn't falter on the stance, or even blink, come to think of it. The Sergeant just stands there… suprisingly stalwart for a half-faced sack of crap.

The decision is made by her body before her mind catches up with the movement. It's the answer, really. The cavalier answer that has her hand shooting out at his throat, hand grasping for his neck in a move that will undoubtedly result in something unpleasant, if successful. Like a slamming into a washer. Things just never go her way when she starts shit already injured!

People forget things about Barney. Like the fact he's a lump-headed marine. Surely that means he's not allowed to be FAST. It's just not fair! His torso is already turning, and his hands are already rising the second her hand shoots out towards his throat. Leaning to the side to take the shot that was supposed to be at his neck in the shoulder instead, The Sergeant has a hand on her wrist before it can withdraw, then ducks to roll the captured arm in a 3/4 rotation. With her right wrist in his right arm, Barney uses the rotation to end up behind the woman. Cue his left forearm pressing on her spine while his right hand adds pressure to get the pilot to bend over and…. yeah. Barney's left leg raises, and rests his shin against her ceiling-pointed elbow. He doesn't say a word. Concentration is at work here.

Jupiter's world goes a bit spinny with that application of torque and rotation. What the frak. It's like going up against a competent and not seething marine has made her all … suck at this. She's used to them going for the straight up frontal attack. It has made her lazy. She struggles, but the pressure on her elbow and his grip is good. "Ugn." Yeah, that was a grunt of pain. She has a moment to study her knees, curls falling about her face upside down. The grip is good. "Get the frak off me, you shit, before I really hurt you." Well said for someone distinctly lacking the upper hand. Or upper anything, really.

Barney responds to that by… letting go? No, really. He does. It's suprising how quickly he can let go of her arm and drop his knee to leave her… well, unhindered. "I'll call you Sir, I'll stand to attention when you ask it…" He speaks as he rubs the skin on his own right wrist, rotating the joint. "But if you think I'll let you abuse me because you're still pissed off about Merlin and can't think of another way to release it, you're sorely mistaken." Look! Look how calm the marine is. It's shocking.

The brunette pilot's lungs open as she takes a deep breath, teeth clenching shortly after as she resists the urge to curse. She bites it back a sharp retort for about… three and a half seconds. A shake of her arm and she drops it to her side. Again with the calm and the frakkin' point making. Barnabas is only making it worse. This time, Jupes doesn't find it comforting. She doesn't find it helpful. She doesn't find it … pointy. "Stop. Saying. That." The next punch is telegraphed, but the kick that follows isn't. Will one land? No. No it won't.

"Not until you admit it." Barney's not intentionally showing off, placing his hands behind his back as he steps away from the punch. He does have to raise his leg to stop the kick, meeting her shin with his and letting his own limb flex back as if she was kicking a pillow, or a pad on a spring. The hands behind the back help project the sense of calm, even though Jupes can only see it as…smugness. Of course, it also means it's a lot easier to hide the telegraphing of attacks HE makes.

Still, she advances. The confined quarters of the laundry don't leave a lot of room to maneuver. There are no mats, no soft surfaces to land on. No padded corners, no open spaces for dancing. Jupiter, annoyed, pulls off her brace with the heavy release of velcro, and tosses it to the floor. Uh oh. She rotates her wrist a little, and seems satisfied with the result, because her posture changes slightly. Her weight tips forward. Her hands come up, and the entire line of her body eases into readiness. She just got serious. "Really." She steps in one, two quick steps and tests his boundaries, maybe seeing if she can get his hands to come up. One may get the feeling she's lining up for something with a little more impact. Wait for it.

Barney makes a swipe to try and grab Jupe's foot. It comes at the same time she swings a couple of punches at his head, so he cancels that plan to go back on the defensive, weaving his head from side to side. Whooboy, a couple of those fists got pretty damn close, and he's only got so much room to back up. "Really." There may be a slight smirk on the good side of his face at her getting serious. Maybe.

The price of smugness, my dear, is a snap kick to the arm! Jupiter may have been getting lazy, in sparring, and in her verbal confrontation, but it's one thing she is not getting, it's slow. The change up from jab, to jab, to kick is swift. Her feet are light, moves a little rusty from a couple weeks of disuse, but there's some strength in her. A little Caprican Four Limb flavor comes out to play. Barnabas is no slouch himself. She was, afterall, aiming for his head. The dodge and exchange doesn't quite come out cleanly, and she stumbles back when he reminds her he has some moves a well. Her hip glances off of a washer, and she resets her stance, eyes on Barnabas. "Oh."

Yeah, that hurt. All he can do to defend from the kick winging it's way towards his head is pretty stupid. Throw his shoulder into it. Ow. Beats being knocked unconcious with one kick, though. His stance widens a little, and for the briefest of moments, just after he glances against her chest with a counter open palm to the collarbone, it may be possible to believe the marine was giving a full smile on the good side of his face. "Not bad, Jupes." Shoulder roll. Yup, still ow. "But you're fighting the wrong thing." The price of smugness is more smugness.

Damn it. Smugness is a bitch. It's also expensive. Jupes swaps up from the kicks, something about the approach Barny's taking just lights her fuse. And it's not an overly short one, but boy does that sucker burn hot. Though her left had is in on the mix, she favors it still. And when she steps into the punch, it's an authoritative right hander careening fight for Barbabas' jaw. Closed fist. It's going to hurt, one way or the other. Unless she misses, or —

He grabs the wrist as his head leans out of his way. That'd be a problem, too. And by 'be.' we mean 'is.' Barney's right hand comes up as his entire body steps to the left, the punch being close enough disrupt the air by his cheek before he's got a grip on her wrist. His left hand basically moves up, touches her forearm, and then rushes ALL the way down the limb to catch the Lieutenant JG across the face with a knuckled backhand before letting go. "You're still fighting the wrong thing."

Leda steps into the laundry room and oh look people are fighting. He was ordered not to be hall monitor and so he simply sits there as he begins to throw his clothes into a machine without bothering to seperate them. He then starts to put some soap in the machine and on a standard setting and then the dull whir of the engines on the machine begin to go and laundry has started.

Oh, yeah. A backhand pimp style is just the philosophical nothing to talk away the haze of rage that's tweaked the LtJG's buttons. Surely, it's more effective than a zen koan. What with the loud smack and the way her head whips around, and the pilot stumbles into the bank of lockers. She uses that as a springboard, hard as it is, and launches herself right back at the marine. Sure, the machinery rocks for a moment, but Barnabas has bigger problems — namely 130lbs of angry pilot slamming low into his gut shoulder first.

Barney… Barney may have flailed. Rumours will persist, and he'll continue to deny. He's caught completely off-guard and slams into a couple of the machines, causing an uproar of complaint. Don't worry, the machines are ok, it's his back that's arguing. Any attempt he makes to get a hold on the 130lbs of seething fury utterly fail. She's slippery! and Fiesty! With a capital 'F-'

Leda watches all of this happen, he doesn't even begin to guess who started it but it is a floor show while waiting for Laundry and he has stopped drinking recently for some odd reason so this might be just enough of something to get his heart racing a bit. Though as he watches Black his eyes go wide as he figures out that Barnabas must have pissed Jupiter off…bad move, rook, always bet on Black.

Once the marine's been put back a few paces, and while he's still a little flail-surprised, she kicks him in the shin, disengages partially to drop more, then comes back up out of the crouch with her knees, and an elbow leads into the bend Barny's chest. Hard. Frak, she has pointy elbows! "Ugn!" It's so hard there's even a grunt with it. "The frak you keep smiling like that, you cock sucker." Harsh. You ever racked your 'funny bone' on something? Try doing that on a marine's breastbone. Shit. Tingles. In her left arm. Extra uncomfortable.

Elbow hits chest. Barney goes backwards. Barney hits table. Table doesn't go backwards. Barney goes over table. His foot grazes the side of Jupe's neck as he goes, but that's the only thing he has approaching a retort to the elbow. After a couple of seconds, the marine's head re-appears. Jupes amount of hit have reached that 'Line' point. That line where it goes from 'Go on, keep hitting me when I'm trying to talk to you' to 'Ok, this actually hurts.' Make no doubt about it, she had the better of him. She had him beat, no ifs or buts.

But now he starts fighting back.

Castor watches this happen and he just sort of sits there as a soft, "Huh?" Come out of his mouth, this would be a full on Jupiter assault but Barnabas isn't fighting back and Leda knows that Barnabas is a brawler…and then it happens that look on Barnabas' face that leads him to wonder what is going to happen next. He then takes a seat on an unused washer for now and he watches the fight to make sure it is kept cleanish and to make sure that if someone suddenly needs medical he can get to the intercom.

The best thing, and the worst thing, about the Black family is that none of its members know when to say enough is enough. You just can't live without crossing somebody's line, and baby are there lines to cross. Jupi doesn't just cross this one, she jumps over the motherfuck — er… motherfrakker. She swipes a hand over her neck, in a pseudo rub, and then she goes over the table after him. It's clear from her particular approach on this terrain that is isn't the first time Jupes has fought like this. In fact, it smacks of trained, yet dirty, barroom brawler. She leads off the table with a kick to the chest. And then she promptly pays for it.

Barney has about enough time to start speaking out with a "Jupes, this is gettin-" FOOT TO THE CHEST. Of course, Barney is actually fighting now, so there are two hands on her ankle while his ribs argue against the idea of continuing this. Freezeframe. Jupes, leading off the table with a foot to his chest, and Barney holding on to the ankle of that foot. There's only one way this can go. For Barney, it's backwards, yanking the foot along with his chest before letting go. For Jupes? Well, after that little move, it's down. Artificial gravity always wins.

Thud. "OOF." That hurts. She smacks into the floor quite hard. Her upper body is mostly useless, being immediately pinned. There's only one choice, and it's a risk. She shoves her body over with her hands, and uses the momentum of the twist to kick as her body spins. If he doesn't let go of her leg, that could wrench her knee. Either way, her foot connects with his chest hard. That could leave a nice bruise. She doesn't have a lot of time to enjoy it.

Leda would be eating popcorn right now from his corner of the laundry room…if he had any and so instead he lets his eyes fix on the fight, aparently this isn't a balls out, 'I'll keeeell you bitches!' sort of fight since Barnabas interupts so maybe this is something else. His breath remains slow and steady and he remembers again why it is that he fears Black.

It's a repeat of before, considering he let go to drop her just a moment ago. Foot goes into chest, hands grab ankle… But jupiter is already on the floor. This is going to be a problem for her. He twists the leg sideways, forcing the woman to roll over before he begins to bend her leg at the knee towards her own ass. The only thing that stops it would be his own thigh, Barney stepping his leg in. Her thigh is on the left side of his shin, and her ankle is on the right side of his thigh, their knees being about equal except hers is a LOT more sideways. His wrist holds her ankle in the place against his thigh. Yup, that's right, her leg is basically wrapped around his, and Barney is in a half-squat. "Lieutenant Junior Grade Jupiter Black, right now you're thinking you can move a lot of your body. You can. I /see/ it move, and I sit down. You don't want me to sit down." He's back to calm again, although his breath is quite a bit raspy. What? He got booted in the chest. TWICE.

About the only thing that ever snaps Jupes out of this kind of fight is either a knockout, or a serious and direct threat to her ability to pilot a viper. One hand presses into the side of a washer, her other curls tight into a fist against the floor. Her body heaves with the heavy breaths she takes, and then they quiet somewhat as she breathes through her nose, brown curls spilled into her eyes. Jupiter is silent for a long time over there, and everyone in the room is very lucky she's without weapon, and that Barnabas Volker is so good at his job. And that he has some self restraint. Her entire body freezes up with the dueling desires to 1) break marine, 2) keep him from breaking her knee. In the end, she opts for trying to calm her breathing, and holding very still.

Leda watches the fight because a pilot with a broken knee would be bad but he is not going to say a word at this moment, the less attention he draws to himself the better.

She probably doesn't want to know the amount of aching his legs will end up in if Barnabas doesn't release it or stand up soon. Barney's sure as hell not going to mention it. "If I release your leg, Black, are you going to hit me again?" He's a contrast. Whereas she really, really wants to hurt him, Barney doesn't want to hurt her at all. The threat with her elbow earlier obviously being just that, but this knee thing? He's probably more than serious. She DID try and hit him first, after all.

Jupiter's body remains still, except for the breathing, and the tension in her shoulders. At last, her head drops a little, cheek pressing to the floor of the laundry. At least it smells fresh in here. "Eventually." Not the correct answer, Jupiter. Honest, but… stupid.

Leda remains on his perch however this is where things get exciting, on one hand Jupiter might hit him again and on the other hand that means Jupiter is in even more trouble. He just sits there and watches because this is not his fight.

"Good." Barney slowly stands, being careful as he releases her leg from around his. It'd be kind of awkward to explain an accidental break NOW. "Your arm's looking a lot better today." Why yes, he's talking to her while brushing off his pants, speaking rather casually. It's a similar tone to them just finishing up a cup of coffee or something. "Doc should probably clear you for some light sparring soon, right?"

Jupiter grunts as Barnabas moves to get up. her leg drops to the floor, and she just stays there for a moment before she shoves over onto her back. She looks up at the marine a moment before she shoves up to sit. "If she knows what's good for her." There's a pause to take mental stock of the bruises that'll be coming up tomorrow. Jupes removed her brace, and she uses both arms to sit, was using them to fight. Seems like it's almost totally healed, if not healed. She doesn't move to get to her feet yet, like maybe she doesn't trust herself with a full range of movement yet. She reaches up to run her fingers through her curls, and takes a deep breath. She doesn't make eye contact with Volker.

Castor watches as things begin to cool down and he takes a second to let out a small breath since it would seem that Jupiter is going to be alright with her knee safe and sound. He then takes a moment to look over at his laundry to make sure things are going smoothly over there.

Volker places a hand on his chest, taking a couple of deep breaths to listen for any nasty rattles or noises that shouldn't be. There's a slight rasping noise, but it shouldn't be too much of a problem. "Good. I'll expect you at the Gym soon. I don't think anything's happening that should screw that up." There's a little smile to object of his… inflictions before he turns to leave. D'aw, Castor not even noticed. Barney does give a listen to a couple more of his breaths on the way out, though. Hope he doesn't have to do anything too strenuous tomorrow.

Jupes finally leans against a washer, then reaches up with her right arm to grip the edge of it. She pulls herself to her feet one handed, and glances over. Only a few moments have passed. Her clothes are still spinning. "Leda." She glances over, and tugs her shirt down a little. She clears her throat. "I'll give you Yuuri's last bottle of Picon rum if you fold my shit and bring it up to the Berth." There's about three and a half loads spinning, and her large duffle is empty, tossed over a chair. On one hand, booze. On the other, touching a bunch of Jupiter's thongs. "If any go missing, I'll remove your arms at the elbow." She'll either be at the gym tomorrow… or she won't.

But you know she totally will.

Leda looks over at Jupiter, shit, he has been spotted, jam, jam…wait not an ECO shit…."Black." He says softly, "And yeah, I'll fold your shit for you." He says softly, "Nothing will go missing. You have my word on that." He says since he likes his face where it is and he can trade off the booze for something else…seriously, why did Epi talk him out of drinking.

"… Thanks." Jupes looks, for a moment, like she might have something more to say, but then she just heads for the hatch, and passes by the older pilot, headed out the hatch. Flee.

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