Kai Ain't No Pimp
Kai Ain't No Pimp
Summary: Eddie goes to Captain Marek for some help with Hale's bachelor party. Ends up trading insults with Absalom for an evening well spent.
Date: PHD194 (Oct 29, 2009)
Related Logs: None.

Red Squadron Berthings

The hatchway to this room has a top-down stencil of a Viper Mark Two painted across the entire expanse, the rear end of the Viper at the bottom of the hatch. Once inside, the berthings are typical of Viper squadrons throughout the fleet: Two lines of bunks are mounted against each wall with another one built into the wall at the other end. The room's gray walls and the empty space surrounding the bunks hold framed pictures of Vipers in action and depictions of the Cylon War of forty years prior. There is also a hatch in the back the leads to a private Head for these officers. Even here, the dark blue curtains hide away each individual bunk from the goings-on within the common area which is centered on a large oak table, though the surrounding chairs are standard navy.

Kai is doing a little reading tonight, which is less than typical of the anti-academic Captain. He's slouched in a chair at the table, nose-deep in a viper mark seven technical manual. So at least it's pertinent reading material. A cigarette rests between two fingers, and a cup of lukewarm coffee on the table beside him. He looks like he recently came out of a shower, given the damp curls and moisture dotting his tshirt.

Super spy, Double-oh Eddie jukes in through the slightly open hatch, immediately flattening out against the bulkhead. Her hands are held together, forming a pretend gun with her index fingers extended as the barrel. Under her breath, she's humming the song from the popular spy vid series, pausing only when she does a quick summersault roll across the deck. When she springs up, her 'gun' is pointed at the CAG, and she shoots him, "Pew pew!"

Kai flips the page in his book, and spots the super spy stealthing in through the hatch. He raises a brow at the 'hand' gun, stifles a smile, and goes back to his reading. It's the somersault across the deck that finally causes him to speak up however; he clears his throat and informs her in a mild voice, "This is viper berthings, Morales. The gymnastics club is down the hall." He's still trying to smother that smile, and resorts to rubbing his thumb across his cheek in order to achieve it. "How was CAP?" His eyes stay on the book.

Eddie straightens slowly, even holstering her fake gun at her side. "Worst death scene ever, sir." She states simply before hopping up on the table and hooking her finger inside his coffee cup. She tilts it over precariously, peering inside before letting it teeter totter back to rest right. "CAP was same old same old. Is that your standard greeting?" She wonders out loud rhetorically, before pressing on. "Turns out you're just the man I was looking for."

"Not enough blood for you? The mess is out of ketchup packets, sorry." He flips the page in his book again, but not before a small smile sneaks out, and crinkles the fine crow's feet at the edges of his eyes. There's a look askance when she tips his coffee cup, then a pull from his smoke. "Maybe it is," he answers, blue eyes shifting to Eddie's dark, with the last thing she says. The look's expectant, and a shade curious.

Kai smiles, Eddie pouts. Completely unrelated however. The pout comes on an exhale, and when Eddie props her palms on the table, her shoulders jut forward like broken chicken wings. "Hale's bachelor party. Normally if I were tasked with this, we'd go into port and I'd hire some hookers, but those are in surprising short order on this ship. Contrary to popular belief. I need help."

Kai lifts his cigarette hand, palm-up, as if to say "what?" when Eddie pouts. And then the real reason for her coming to talk to him, surfaces. And he gives her what hopefully amounts to a blank stare. "So let me get this straight." He clears his throat lightly, and settles back in his chair, away from the book, to watch the younger pilot. "You're going to run a bachelor party for Abe. And you need hookers. So you thought, hey, why not. I bet Spider'll know where to find a few on this ship?" It's all pretty damned dry.

Eddie crosses her eyes at Marek, her tongue protruding from her mouth. "Gah, gimme a break. If I wanted hookers, I'd go down the chain of command not up it. Look, I know you're probably tired of a million people coming to you a million times a day asking you for some sort of help, but I'm shooting blanks here. Wait. /Do/ you know any hookers?"

Kai merely continues to watch the young woman, dubious expression firmly planted on his features while she speaks. "No," he answers the question flatly. No could mean 'no', or it could mean 'yes', but most likely it means 'maybe, but they're all dead now'. He adds, on the subject of shooting blanks, "Better you than Abe, I guess."

Eddie's features break with a smile, her visage cracking with the expression. Her lips press wide on her face, her white smile even more dazzlingly so now that she's switched to almost straight up baking soda as toothpaste. "I don't really want to be thinking about Bunny's sperm count, do you? I'd like it if you'd help. I think it'll be fun, and you might just be able to use some. But I won't take offense if you say no. Much."

The Captain gives a little shake of his head. "I'm not too sure what you want me to do, Morales. I haven't tried to arrange a stag for someone since.." He scratches at the scar above his lip with a thumbnail, as if it might jog his memory. "..Jiggles. Yeah, I think it was Jiggles. Seven, eight years ago."

Eddie nudges his knee with the toe of her boots. "You know. Help me find some booze, cut out a life sized paper cut out of a woman so we can play pin the tassle on the nipple." Her shoulders lift in what could pass as a shrug. "That sort of stuff." A pause, then she revisits something he just said. "Jiggles? Remind me never to complain about my callsign."

Kai lets a small twinge of a smile slip, then goes back to his smoking while Eddie elaborates upon her request. "I think Leda might be more help with the former. And I'm pretty sure the rest of the squad would never let me live it down, if they caught me doing arts and crafts in here. I'll tell you what.. I'll arrange a spot for this bachelor party, and make sure command doesn't give you any shit about it. How's that?"

Eddie lifts her eyebrows, pushing them far up on her forehead. "Will you come, too? It would mean a lot to him. And the rest of the squad. And me." The last seems added almost as an afterthought or something she's not apt to readily admit.

"I'll think about it," is Marek's cagey reply, delivered with eye contact that's made, and held for several seconds.

Eddie's shoulders slump back down, as if Kai just kicked her puppy. That's the only outward indication that Mooner feels disappointment. "All I can ask for, right?" Her feet swing briskly, and in one fluid movement, she hops down from the table. Old Mooner can still make an appearance once in a while, typically when she puts up a wall around herself. "Thank you, sir."

Kai watches the shift in Eddie's expression, and it causes him to furrow his brows slightly after she hops down from the table. He turns his head away to blow smoke out his nose, and comments quietly, "I'll do my best, Eddie." Blue eyes tic away, then back again. "Look at me."

Eddie stops in her retreat, her face tilted downwards at the deck plating for a moment. She doesn't comply immediately, but she always does, doesn't she? Slowly she brings her gaze back up, dark meeting light, though she's still looking at him from the tops of her eyes. "Yes, sir?"

"Chin up." It's spoken softly, and with a bit of huskiness that comes from the particular habit he's engaged in at the present moment. "I'll be there if I can. I'd say a man only gets married once, but.." Something darts across his eyes, a ghost of some old pain that's not nearly so potent anymore. But there, nonetheless. "In the meantime, I'll find you a spot. All right?"

Eddie forces her chin upwards, but she clearly wants to pull inward on herself in her normal tomboy stance instead of that of a proud military officer. "This will be his second. Rabbit's, I mean. Different times, sir. Nothing is ideal anymore, so cling to what happiness you can." Is that statement made in general? Or pointed to the CAG? "May I say something, Captain. Freely?"

Kai nods a couple of times. "I know." To Rabbit being married twice? Or to clinging to what happiness you can? Maybe both. He climbs to his feet and collects his technical manual. His cigarette is tucked between his lips as he begins shedding his fatigue jacket on the way to his locker. "Sure," he answers the last.

"It would do some good for us, sir, if you could be there. I can understand the need for a certain divide between a leader and those he leads. I do. But during a time like this, when people are going mad…we could stand to know you are one of us. Unafraid to laugh or cry or go through the trenches with us." Eddie lifts her chin even higher, the small hint of a swallow there as her eyes follow him to his locker. "But I said I would trust you. I will, and I do. If you say you'll be there if you can. You will."

Absalom has arrived.

Kai pauses at the door of his locker, jacket caught as his elbows and stopped there as Eddie speaks. The muscle in his shoulders and biceps is tense, but relaxes by inches as he finishes shrugging out of the thing. "Sure," he repeats around his cigarette, the jacket bunched in one hand as he spins the combination on his lock. "Do my best, Eddie." It's starting to sound like a mantra.

Eddie is standing somewhere in the middle of the floor, in limbo between the table and her bunk as she converses with Kai at his locker. "You don't need me to tell you it's enough. The only one who can tell you that to where you'll really listen? Is yourself. 'Sides. I'm an insatiable bitch. It's never enough." Eddie's smile is back, the tense moment for the young Jig has passed. There's something else there, something just beneath the surface that's rather hard to pin down. It's in her eyes when they focus on the CAG, a softness at the edges that's not normally there.

Absalom clomps into the middle of the tableaux between Eddie and Kai, and calls out, "Got a message for you CAG, from the XO." He's waving a bit of paper, and probably quite oblivious to the look that Eddie is giving the man.

"Right," the Captain murmurs, "and I need to remember to wear clean underwear, and share my toys as well." It's slightly glib, though subtly fond as well. He might even be smiling a little as he swings his locker door open, and stows the jacket. Absalom's arrival, and announcement, earn a brief look askance. "Sir, or Spider'll do, Lieutenant. What's up?"

"You have toys you're not sharing?" Eddie asks, aghast. There's a snort in Shadow's general direction, whether as part of a laugh or a greeting it's hard to tell. No one can say Mooner's not a jock, through and through. She might even scratch her crotch and spit, too. "Is he getting sent up to the principal's office?" She asks of Absalom.

Absalom holds out the sheet of paper, "Dunno, just gave it to me a few minutes ago on the flight deck, sir." He apparently doesn't process what the pair are talking about, as he just gives Eddie a blank look, and then adds, "Figured I'd get it to you before my next CAP." The note is short and sweet, simply saying: 'CAG -meet with Demitros re: tactics'. Absalom shrugs at the next question and says, "I dunno, didn't look at it. Its a bit above my pay grade."

Whatever's on that paper, it sounds like news to Kai. He pulls away from his locker long enough to retrieve the thing from Absalom, and gives him a curt nod. "Thanks. Though you should tell him you're not my messenger boy in future." He seems amused with that, for some reason. "Damn straight," he tells Eddie, with a wink.

Absalom having handed off the paper, he walks over to his locker, giving Eddie a bit of an odd look in passing, but he doesn't comment on it.

Kai finishes reading his note, folds it, and tucks it away in his trouser pocket. "If I'm getting sent to detention, Mooner, I'd damned well better have a chair. Or I'll take it out of your hide." He fetches his towel and soap, and closes the door to his locker. "Have a good evening, Lieutenants." Mock 'salute' sketched, he trudges off for the showers.

Eddie flops into her lower bunk, kicking up her booted heels on the knot of blankets and stretching out on her back. "So did the XO really give you that message, or did you intercept it to be the teacher's pet?" The question is obviously pointed towards Abaslom.

"Yeah, its my dream to run around like someone's lapdog. The XO cornered me at my bird, asked me a couple of questions, and then told me to deliver that. Not really my place to tell him to shove it, y'know?" He pops open his locker, picks up his flight bag, and then shuts the door. "Why, jealous?" he asks idly.

"Insanely." Eddie says deadpan, her fingers snagging up a completely out of date magazine she's undoubtedly read a dozen times, flipping it open above her head and idly reading. "I woke up this morning just drooling over a chance to play the system. Climb the corporate ladder. Play the brass game."

"Yeah, nobody'll figure your playing too cool for school to be a need for acceptance, and a desire for promotion at all." Shadow replies lightly. He sets his flight bag on his bunk, and digs around in it for a moment, looking for something or other. When he doesn't find it, he frowns and moves back to his locker.

"That's the look I'm going for. Something that says 'I don't give a shit if you love me, but please love me'." Eddie flicks her glance over. "How'm I doing? I /think/ I got the 'I could kick your ass' thing down. But we might want to test it out, just to be sure."

"Anytime you want you can give it a try, but, it really aint my kind of foreplay." Shadow comments in a droll tone as he digs through the debris at the bottom of his locker. Finding what he's looking for — his sidearm — he checks the magazine, and then walks back to his bed. He drops the weapon into his flight bag, and then asks, "Anything else you want to discuss? Or can I leave you to wallow in that puddle of aggression you're enjoying?"

"I prefer to think of it as basking. Wallow sounds so…pathetic. I think you should save negative connotation for yourself. I wouldn't want to be selfish." Mooner peaks around the curl of her magazine, seeing him pack his flight pack. "Have a good shift. Safe skies." An ass she might be, but she'd never wish anyone an ill flight.

A kiss is blown in the direction of Eddie, "Stay frosty," he says, before picking up his bag and heading out the exit.

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