Devil at the Crossroads
Devil at the Crossroads
Summary: Samantha visits Martin in the Recovery Ward.
Date: PHD 136 (09/01/09)
Related Logs: PHD128 - Implosion

Hooray, Martin is no longer laying on his stomach. Now seated upright with his right arm in a sling, he's back to somewhat of a normal state. Boasting a three day's growth of beard and two eyes that are starting to look normal again, he's lounging boredly with a book in his hand.

Samantha steps into the room again. She's come often… even stole a few hours nap at his side when the condition finally lowered. Even if he's been sleeping or drugged for a lot of her presence, she's been there. Worried… protective. Now she steps into the room to see him rolled over, sitting straight, and that just makes her smile. "…Martin…" She breathes out, crossing the last few feet to him. "you… You're looking better. Upright, at least."

Martin looks up from his book and flashes her a smile. "Hey hey…" He replies, doing his best to set his bookmark into the page. Finding his way, he manages to complete his task with minimal effort. "Yeah, I know I probably still look like shit, but at least I'm not face down, which is a good thing." He pauses. "Pull a seat up."

Samantha does indeed pull up a seat as indicated, glad to see him smilign too, even of her eyes are still lidded with worry and she doesn't much look like she's slept at all. She settles into the seat near him, offering a half a pack of cigarettes, smuggled in from gods know where. "You look fine… handsome with a beard. Almost look your age." She winks at him teasingly, reaching over to rub her fingertips against his scruff.

Blinking at the pack of cigarettes, Martin takes a moment to look up and down the row of recovery beds and pulls one out. "Are we gonna be in deep shit if I get caught smoking?" He asks, having not had one in three days. Biting his lip, he takes one from the pack and slips it between his lips. He's seen doctors smoke in recovery wards on the television. "My age, huh? Shit…I dunno I might do a goatee. I haven't decided yet." Martin replies, smirking in Sam's direction. "How've you been holding up?"

Samantha shrugs a moment…"Kai snuck me some when I was laid up. Just be careful about it.'s a recovery aid, right? No one in here's on oxygen." She chuckles warmly, pulling out her lighter and striking it up so she can light his cigarette for him…She studies him quieter now, still clearly concerned. Heartsick over this all, really. "I…I'm fine. Worried as hell about you… Frak…that was scary."

Taking his first drag from the cigarette, Martin nods softly. Diverting his eyes to his lap, he flattens his lips as he exhales the smoke through his nose. "Yeah…I don't remember any of it other than getting that shot on the raider. One of the deck hands told me today that if not for the ejection seat stopping most of the force of the shrapnel I would have been run through." Martin adds, looking back to Sam. "I must have done something right to earn this lucky bounce."

Samantha gives him a slightly softer smile…"I… I haven't known ya to do much wrong, Martin. A few things…" Like sucker punching an ECO…"But not much." Her voice is quieter there too, gentle care crackling through her tone as she tries to keep it strong but, dammit, the man she loves nearly died. She thought he was dead. She just looks away, taking a deep breath to light her own cigarette and get a handle on any sort of emotion creeping up.

"Yeah…a few things." Martin smirks, doing his best to keep from laughing. His back's still healing, but he's out of danger of popping the stitches. It's still just a bit sore. Another drag from the cigarette is taken and another gust of smoke billows towards the ceiling. "I didn't hurt him too bad, did I? I think he managed to get me worse than I got him…"

Samantha shakes her head quietly. "No, no… He's fine. Confused, maybe a bit hurt, but fine. It's… it's done now. We'll just let sleeping dogs lie…" She admits quietly, still not entirely able to meet his eyes. She did start it, after all. She takes another breath of her cigarette and sinks back in the chair she pulled over, sighing.

Martin takes another drag from his cigarette, resting back against his pillows. Keeping it over his stomach to avoid dropping ashes somewhere horrible, like over his shoulder or into his cast, he looks to her. "You two called it off after that? Frak Sam, you shouldn't have done that, you like him." He says, furrowing his brow at her. "Oh, and I don't know if I'm getting a sympathy pass from Spider for this or not, but after punching Thorn he told me you and I have to write a report together on how in-squadron dating affects morale."

Samantha shakes her head quietly. "It was never -on-, Martin… and yeah, sure, I like him. Doesn't frakking change the fact I love you." Sam states it flat out, looking up towards him at the last moment there, letting him see the simple bit of plain honesty in her eyes. She sighs out her cigarette, though, not pushing it. "Seriously?…Frak…He didn't bring it up to me. Maybe he forgot. I…dunno."

"Yeah. He was pretty mad at the time but he ain't the sort to say that kind of thing and not mean it. Frak…he'd make me run laps as I am now if I asked him if he was for real about it." Martin smirks, lifting his eyebrows quietly to mimic his annoyed expression. He turns his head back to his stomach, bringing the cigarette to his lips. He takes a long pull from the filter and then raises his head to find somewhere to tap the ashes. "Frakked up, ain't it?"

Samantha watches him for another few heartbeats, but she nods slowly…"It is. Not… really frakking sure… what to do." She admits, leaning a bit closer, so her elbow is on his bed and the side of her arm just gently brushing against him, as close as she dares let herself get.

Martin decides the floor is safe enough. Ashing the cigarette, he brings the heel of his palm to the side of his head to rub at his temple. Biting his lip, he looks to Sam's face. "I think his thought process is on the line of thinking that the less shit we have to think about up there, the better off we are. If I know Kai, he's worried that you and I are gonna cause you and I and maybe someone else to frak up, hesitate, get slagged."

Samantha smirks a moment…"You think he'd be able to open his eyes for a minute and see no matter what shit goes down off duty between us… all we've ever done is our jobs, and up to the best of our abilities. We're damn good pilots out there. We never take this shit across the line." Sam seems dead serious about that, the whole matter a point of pride with her, that she's been able to ride her emotions that well.

"Well yeah, off duty." Martin replies with a nod, pausing to take another drag from his cigarette. "We've spilled it onto duty a little bit, but not so much that it's affected our ability to do our jobs. I dunno…everything's so fucked up at the moment trying to keep my head clear that I might not be making complete sentences." Martin trails off, turning his eyes back to her. "Sam…I know it's not what you want to hear but I do think you should give Thorn a chance."

Samantha blinks, definitely shocked to hear that. She looks up at him, any bit of a smile falling off her lips. "…Why?" She finally asks, not able to find any other protest for the moment. If he cares that little about her, well… how does she fight that? She just stares, watching him, sitting up straighter again.

Martin swallows, blinking with heavily lidded eyes in her direction. "Because he's a good guy, you said so yourself." Martin replies, looking to her face. "I mean, you and him were on track to something and I know there's shit involved with you and I fighting over it, but I meant what I said when I told you that you two got my approval." Martin replies, taking another drag from his cigarette. "Me? I'm trying to fix my shit, put things back into perspective and there's no telling where that's gonna take me."

Samantha nods quietly.."But… that doesn't include me in the picture." Sam sighs, nodding, adjusting her world view for a few moments. It's harder than she thought. She swallows back tight, breathing her cigarette and staring at the floor of sickbay…

"Well…it does." Martin replies, ashing his cigarette again. Taking another drag, he leaves the cigarette between his lips so that he can run his hand through his hair. Retrieving the cigarette with his left hand, he exhales the smoke towards the ceiling. "I mean, we're gonna be in the berthings, we're on the same squadron, we're close, we can take care of eachother but…I dunno, Sam. I think you should still give this guy a chance. Don't feel like you frakked everything up. What you should be asking yourself is why you were attracted to him in the first place. That shit don't lie."

Samantha stands up, tense, quiet, pacing again like she did before, her miserable little, restless habit. She's smoking and she doesn't care who sees now. She needs the damn cigarette, if they are getting into this again. "Martin…it's not like your brain shuts off about the opposite sex the moment you're in something long term. You can't tell me you didn't look at Eddie…or you still don't. sometimes there's just…People. But I had it under control. I didn't really -do- anything… 'cause I was with you. That mattered to me. It still matters."

"No, it's not like that. My brain doesn't shut off, I know." Martin admits, resting back against his mass of pillows with his cigarette. He chews the side of his lip, eyes going to the corner of their sockets as he chooses his words carefully. "And you're right, that whole thing with Eddie before we broke up the first time was frakked up. But Sam? The point is that you were on your way to something happening, and that's why I called it off. We've got this habit of being great for short term but after a while we start to hurt eachother."

Samantha sighs slowly, shaking her head. "I wasn't on my way to anything, Martin… friendship, that was it. It would have never gone further… but you're… You're clearly looking for a reason to run. So… should I even fight for this? This is where I want to be. Not there… frak… when I thought I … lost you…" She shakes her head again, a hint more violently almost, looking strongly away at the strange sting in her eyes. She refuses to be this ridiculous, but apparently her eyes are disagreeing.

"Sam I don't know what I can do? I'm a Viper pilot…frak that bastard came in fast and it was a nightmare bounce. One of those things where everything lines up perfectly and all you can do is hope that you live through it. I've heard the stories of what it looked like…" Martin says quietly, folding his arms across his chest. "It's not about running, Sam. I know I almost just died. I'm really, really trying to not think about that right now…"

Samantha nods quietly, her arms folding over her chest, even as her right arm is still a bit stiff she's almost got full range back. Enough that she can hug herself and it doesn't hurt too bad. Her cigarette balances at the corner of her lips as she speaks. "But you didn't. You're here. You still have your life…"

"I know, Sam. I know I didn't die I just…" He waves to the side, as if to shoo the thoughts away. "…other shit on the mind better worth focusing on right now, alright?" He replies, pausing for another drag. Looking to the side for somewhere to dispose of his cigarette, he clears his throat. "Sam…I know you and I have been through alot, all I'm saying though is that none of that has to be thrown away even if we start seeing other people. The past is the past, and the past is good in some pretty happy places, but…I really do think we should take a step back."

Samantha nods quietly, forcing herself to breathe through it, the cigarette definitely helping even if her throat is tight. "Sure, Martin… My own damn fault anyway…" She whispers quietly, biting tight at her lower lip, pushing back every last bit of emotion she's half choking on. She sighs… "You need anything? Magazines… a book… coffee?"

Spotting an old cup, barely filled with water, he drops the cigarette into it with a soft hiss. "Sam…don't…" He urges, turning back to look at her face. Giving her a soft, plaintiff look, he flattens his lips. "Sam, you were taking naps with another guy, sweet talking him over the CAP chatter. You like him…" He pauses. "Can't we just call this what it is? Go for it. Don't feel guilty about it…"

Samantha follows suit, dropping her cigarette in the cup and shaking her head slowly…"I don't want throw out… something good… because I was stupid. But…it seems I don't have a choice. You… you have fun with Eddie, Martin. She's probably better for you anyway." Sam states quietly, heading for the door now, not even moving to look back.

Martin blinks at her words, letting out a short, quiet sigh. Leaning back onto his pillows again, he brings a balled up left fist to his forehead and stares upwards. "…Damnit Sam…" He grunts, trying to keep his voice down. Looking up once more, figuring she's not going to stop, he lets out a long, painful sigh and settles back into place. A quiet argument finished for the moment at least, he closes his eyes. "I just…want some peace…" He says to himself, trying to focus on letting the negative energy knead itself from his shoulders.

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