Balance and Snow Globes
Balance and Snow Globes
Summary: Kitty catches Castor in the Mess as recent events are being processed.
Date: PHD 187
Related Logs: None.
Players:
Castor..Kitty..

Castor sits in the Mess Hall and he is forking his food as he has a zombie sort of look on his face since he is eating and thinking and his mind is a million miles away.

Kitty comes in for some coffee, looking like she's in the same boat Castor's in. A cup of coffee is gotten and she eventually winds herself over to where he sits, seeming to be 'flying by DRADIS' as she doesn't look like she sees where she's going. "I did a load of your wash," she murmurs. "Matto's looking for you, by the way. Told him I'd let him know."

Castor turns to look at Kitty for a moment and he snaps to attention and he says, "Wash? I'll get right on tha…wait oh…thanks." He says softly and then he turns his head as he says, "Me? What did I do this time?" He is pretty sure he hasn't pissed Matto off at this point but he does study Kitty as she might know why and so he says, "Does he need gummies?"

"No, he doesn't that I know of." Kitty leaves it at that, indeed knowing why but not going any further; she did what she had promised to do, that being deliver the message, and she's not going to go any further. "So how have you been? Everything alright?" The first sip of coffee is taken and she sighs, relaxing visibly.

Castor says, "Any idea what Matto wants?" He then pauses as he thinks about his day today and he says, "Well, I had a good moment today getting my physical…" He then says, "And I'm hanging in there. I'm just trying not to piss anyone else off and trying to get myself together. I'm going to go see the shrink." He then says, "How about you?" He asks curiously as he notices Kitty relax from the coffee, "Hanging in there?"

Kitty grins. "Yes, I have an idea but it's not my place to say, Castor. Sorry." She smiiles, trying to be reassuring. "Seeing a shrink. That's not a bad idea. It might help you with whatever has you so discombobulated." Her eyes lower and she whispers, "Dash and I are just going to be friends. It wasn't pleasant but I think it is for the best all around. Not just for me but for him."

Castor watches the grin and he says, "Mm." And he says nothing else about the Matto issue and he then says, "Maybe, though I don't generally trust shrinks…I don't like the idea of someone poking around in my head." He then takes a moment to frown at the second part and he says, "I'm sorry, Kitty, I'm so, so sorry." He then says, "Maybe this is something to learn from? I've made my share of mistakes and sometimes they are the best teachers."

"Sometimes it takes another pair of eyes to notice something. It's like what an ECO does for the pilots, both the Viper ones and the Raptor pilots. My eyes will most likely catch something before yours well. Psychologists are the same, in a way." When Leda offers her his condolences she waves it off, trying to keep her smile on her face as she does. "It's alright, really. There were a lot of things going on…but yeah. It's something to learn from, I guess."

Castor nods, "But it also means being really vulnerable with people you don't know well and that you won't have a relationship with beyond weekly hour long chats." He then considers it all, "But I need to get myself together." He then says, "Then again maybe I'm afraid of what another pair of eyes on me will see." He then says, "Anyway, I'll say this much that stinging sensation that lingers on the soul after something like this goes away." He then takes a moment to lean in, "Not so much as a clue on the Matto thing, huh?" He says, "I mean I don't want to fly blind in to a meeting with him."

Kitty nods. "Well, keep an open mind, Castor. It'll help with it all. And big thng to remember is that they are there to help, not judge." Her hand is slipped over towards his and she pats it, giving him encouragement she hopes. "Nope," Kitty blurts out after that, "You will not get anything out of me. I said I'd let you know he's looking for you, nothiig more."

Castor listens and he says, "Well, I'm keeping an open mind right about now about seeing a shrink." He then frowns, "I remember the shrinks from rehabilitation when I was placed in the orphanage." He frowns, "Anyway, I'm keeping an open mind." He then takes a moment to say, "Fine, fine, I'll go into this blind." He then tilts his head and he gets a look in his idea that is curious and concerned at the same time.

"You're paranoid, Castor. It's not a case of Matto coming after you, okay? But that's all I'm saying." Her coffee is finished and the empty cup put to the side. "You mess up once and it causes you to feel like everyone's out to get you and they're not…I'm not, Matto's not…" She pinches the bridge of her nose, shaking her head at the same time. "It's either paranoia or narcissism."

Castor looks at Kitty and he says, "Paranoia, nacrissitic pilots tend to get themselves killed." He then has all the information he needs regarding Matto and he nods his head as he says, "And I know you aren't out to get me, Kitty." He then puts both his hands on his head and he says, "And this is another reason I need to see a shrink." He then says, "Though after what happend with the Old Man I think we are going to see a lot more paranoia." He then removes his hands and he says, "Anyway, sorry, I'll reel it in a bit."

Kitty snorts. "Think that's part of your problem. You were too emotional so tried to keep yourself in check only to rein yourself in too much. Got to find a middle point between the two. These extemes are no good. Not for you or anyone else." She pats his hand again before she lays her head on the table, using her forearms as pillows.

Castor studies Kitty and he says, "Maybe I am…well, now I just sound hormonal." He then chuckles and he looks at Kitty as he watches her lay her head on the table and he asks, "You look tired, Kitty." He then asks, "Are you getting enough sleep?" He asks curiously. He then adds, "Or has CAP been pulling you down?"

"No, not really tired," Kitty admits after a minute's worth of contemplation. "Worn out. Spiritually exhausted. Between the death of the CO and everything else, I'm tired as frak without being tired." She's not sure if that makes sense or not so she falls quiet, blushing now.

Castor studies Kitty and his voice goes softer as he says, "You've been through a lot and we've all been through a lot recently." He then begins to think things through as he says, "And you know what…this will pass and everything will find its proper place to be in at least for a short time and then something will shake it up again." He muses teasingly, "Our lives on this ship are a bit like snow globes and right now we are all the bits of snow looking for a place to settle into." He then places his hand on hers now and he says, "Man, that sounded really greeting card." He then chuckles softly his first time in a while. "Though maybe this will help, there are three weddings coming up on this ship, three, and that means, oooo I don't know three chances to cut loose for a bit."

Kitty smiles. "Was more profound than greeting card. It was nice. Deep, too. I like it." She leans her cheek onto Leda's hand for a minute but she then sits up. "I should go, Castor. We will talk later. Promise."

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